As the old saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. As husbands leading Christian Domestic Discipline marriages, our goal should be to prevent major issues by getting in front of them whenever possible. We should aim to intervene before an issue gets so bad that a spanking is required.
To that end, I humbly submit the following hypothesis – I believe that cornertime is woefully underutilized in most domestic discipline relationships.
For clarity’s sake, I’m not referring to cornertime that occurs before or after spanking. While that is absolutely a helpful part of a spanking ritual, in this case I’m referring to cornertime that is “stand alone” (pun intended).
Cornertime Prevents Small Issues from Turning Into Big Issues
I’m a big believer in addressing small problems before they become big problems. With cornertime, we can intervene when we see early signs of a problem before it grows into something that warrants a more severe consequence like spanking.
For example, let’s say that you have a rule about disrespect. One day, your wife wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. She doesn’t quite cross the line into being disrespectful, but you can tell by her body language, tone, and remarks that this is where it’s headed. Cornertime gives you a convenient tool to address the small problem before it gets bigger, and gives your wife the opportunity to change her trajectory that will otherwise land her over your knee.
Common Cornertime Positions
On one hand, cornertime is beautifully simple – your wife quietly faces the wall for a period of time. On the other hand, there are many different variations on this simple consequence. I will walk through a few common flavors of corner time below.
Just the Basics
The most rudimentary form of cornertime consists of having your wife stand in the corner of the room, facing the wall. She is to remain silent and still with her arms at her side, as if standing at attention. She must face the wall for the entire time, as part of the value of cornertime is the opportunity to tune out all distractions. If your room does not have an empty corner, a empty spot of the wall works as well. Cornertime can range from 5 minutes to up to an hour – but in most cases, should be 15 minutes or less.
Hands on Head
This extremely common variation of cornertime takes everything explained above with one change – rather than standing with her hands at her sides, she stands with her hands clasped on or behind her head. This variation is especially useful for wives who fidget during cornertime.
Sitting or Kneeling
Not all cornertime has to take place standing. When longer cornertime is what is needed, having your wife sit down allows for an effective consequence but saves her feet from prolonged standing. The inverse is true with kneeling – when only a short cornertime is possible, having your wife kneel facing the wall will make each minute more impactful.
Holding Coin to the Wall
This variation is popular among husbands (and equally unpopular among wives) when their wives have trouble staying facing the corner. To resolve that problem, have your wife hold a penny against the wall with her nose, which will force her to remain still and facing the wall.
Cornertime Anytime, Anywhere
One of the benefits of cornertime is that it can be a very discreet consequence, which makes it ideal for when you want to deal with a behavior but don’t have privacy at the current moment – maybe you have kids running around at home, or you are visiting family, or you are out shopping at the mall. Cornertime allows you to deliver a consequence right then and there (even if you intend to deliver another consequence later when you are alone).
You can discreetly do cornertime at home even with kids and/or guests over. In our house, if I see signs of behavior that are going to turn into a bigger problem but the kids are still awake (which is often the case), I’ll discretely tell my wife that she needs to go upstairs for a bit. She knows what that means – she’ll go up to our bedroom, close the door, and go stand in the corner until I come up a while later to let her know she is done.
You can also do cornertime while at someone else’s house – we use the same method as above, except for instead of going to our room my wife will excuse herself, go to the bathroom, lock the door, and stand facing the wall until I text her that she is done. (It is best to keep these sort of cornertimes to just a few minutes, lest anyone think your wife needs a referral to a good gastroenterologist.)
Finally, you can deliver a variation of cornertime even when you are out and about. While not truly cornertime, it can be quite effective to send your wife to go have a seat in the foodcourt if she is being unruly at the mall. (Just be sure to take her phone first!)
Cornertime as Part of Another Punishment
I’ve spent a lot of time talking about cornertime as a punishment on it’s own, but I’d be remiss if I also didn’t explain some of the different ways that cornertime can be used to enhance another consequence.
Cornertime can be an effective way to drive home a point when paired with a second consequence. For example, rather than just writing lines, your wife can be made to write her lines while sitting in the corner. After washing your wife’s mouth out with soap, you can send her to the corner for a bit before she is allowed to rinse her mouth with water.
Cornertime Before Spanking
If you’ve read by previous post on how to deliver a spanking, you already know that I advocate a brief time in the corner prior to spanking as a time for both you and your wife to get into the right mental state. If you plan on using an implement during the spanking, it can be especially effective to have your wife hold on to the implement during the pre-spanking cornertime.
Cornertime During a Spanking
For longer spanking sessions, or for spankings that start with the hand but transition to an implement, breaking up the spanking with a cornertime in between can be an effective way to maximize the impact of the punishment.
Cornertime After Spanking
Some couples also incorporate a brief cornertime after the spanking. For some couples, this is an effective way for everyone to collect their emotions after the spanking before transitioning into aftercare. For other couples, the wife requires immediate aftercare and reassurance which precludes a post-spanking time in the corner. My recommendation for beginners is to err on the side of caution and skip right to aftercare instead of using cornertime immediately after the spanking.
Use cornertime early and often, at the first sign of trouble. As a rule of thumb, if your cornertime to spanking ratio is at least 3 to 1, you are effectively using it to keep small problems from getting bigger. If you are not currently incorporating cornertime into your domestic discipline routine, or use it infrequently or only as part of another consequence, I would challenge you to start incorporating this incredibly effective tool into your repertoire using this action plan.
- Explain to your wife that from now on, your are going to start incorporating cornertime into your CDD routine.
- Show your wife how you expect her to be positioned during cornertime. Sitting or standing? Hands at her sides or behind her head? Which corner will you use? How will you let her know when she has earned cornertime?
- Perform a dry run – just a couple minutes, so that she can see what cornertime is like and you can answer any practical questions she might have.
- Go live! The next time you see an early warning sign, send your wife to the corner. She may be unhappy at the time, but will thank you for the larger consequence that she avoided through your proactive leadership.